He has made all things beautiful…in His time.

Amen! Praise God for His everlasting faithfulness, His protection, His leading and His undeserved grace!

He has given me the most precious gift, a gift that He has been designing for me since before I was named, before I was known to anyone but Him.

He has redeemed years of longing and years of waiting, years of disobedience to Him, years of not trusting, years of His providing grace and protection, years of dreaming, years of crying, years of hoping, years of submission, years…wonderful years that He was using to prepare me to be a gift to my gift. He has redeemed them and made them beautiful.

He has drawn forth seeds He planted in my heart years ago, in the quietness of the night, still promises that He gave me grace to trust, promises that He would prove faithful and beyond, He has drawn forth those seeds and they have exploded into flowering blossoms, throwing forth beauty and joy in my heart and in those who have dreamed with me.

He has touched my heart with tenderness, revealing to me how each step along the way was in His perfect plan. He has brought forth whisperings, memories, songs, words and thoughts that He touched me with in the lonely times, He has brought them to me now to show me that He has made all things beautiful.

He taken the dreams that He asked me to give Him, and has given them back to me in ways beyond what I could have imagined. He has taken my half-hearted and fragile offerings and has presented me with precious diamonds and rubies in their place. He has heard my cry and has answered me in the sweetest, gentlest, most precious of ways.

He has made all things beautiful.

Praise God’s name for His love. Praise His name for walking with us when we have nothing but hope, nothing but a still voice telling us to wait on Him, and to trust Him. Praise His name for calling us from the dead in order to give us life. Praise His Faithful Name!

Must have been You out in the back yard
The mystery was found in the heart of a child
I didn’t know ’till now, that even then I knew You
And there were songs back then,
There was a love affair…

And it goes on and on more than I can remember
It goes deeper still more than I could forget
But as long as I can remember,
I thank you Lord that I remember You
All throughout my life,
I’ve been loving You.

Must have been You on that twilight evening
I wore the beading gown and there were flowers everywhere
And I embraced the love that carries my forever
And it was all so sacred; it was all so holy.

Thank you Father for what you have done in my life! You have blessed me, your undeserving child, with more than I ever dreamed, and have made me truly blessed.

I’m engaged!

Currently, 2 of my good friends, fellow Coram Deo peeps, are in South Africa, checking out the location for future church planting/orphanage developments.

Also, my good friend Nate Smith (originally from Blair, and living in the Twin Cities), just returned from a trip to the Congo. After taking some time to process, he posted some thoughts on his site.

And here is a random picture of me harassing my grandparents’ goose.

Somewhere in the last month, life switched to crazy. I don’t know when this happened, but I find myself in sporatic mode most of the time. It’s not a bad thing, actually I’m just realizing how my life is actually how I always dreamed it might be.

I have true community and friends.

I have love.

I have a job I truly invest in.

Having said all that, here’s the great part: these wonderful things have brought me to a new awareness of my desperate need for a Savior.

My true community has been faithful to sit me down and talk to me about sin in my life, sin that I didn’t even see until they showed me.

The most amazing man in the world has been incredibly loving by allowing me, through his patience and leadership, to see the ways I have built up pride and selfish expectations of love throughout the years, and how I throw my failures toward him, instead of owning them.

My job has shown me that deep down I think I’m perfect, and no one else has it quite right (especially if they think things should be done differently), and has challenged me to shut up and put myself at the bottom once again - to realize that I’m the one that’s here to learn and grown, and I need to realize that I am looking to perfection for my personal identity and value, instead of Jesus’ righteousness & love.

So. In the last few weeks, I’ve had 2 of my closest male friends/leaders talk to me about some crap I needed to get rid of in my heart (this prideful need for perfection), I’ve had Tyler so lovingly lead me to seeing my own need for perfection and my lack of grace for myself (I am okay with others’ failures, but not mine), and through a study I’m doing with some wonderful women, I’ve realized how critical my tongue can be, and what I’m looking for through that.

It’s been so good! Such a freeing week. It reminds me continually of Hebrews, which tells us that God disciplines those He loves. And not only that, but John 15, which tells us that the Gardener prunes the branches that bear fruit. So, I can only be confidently humble and thank Him for taking care of me in order to free me from my own suffocating mess.

More to come…

P.S. Did I mention that Tyler is the most spectacular man I know?