Keeping up this website has fallen to the wayside as my life has taken wonderful yet consuming twists and turns with increasing job duties, meeting with friends on a more regular basis, and a lovely husband to be with everyday. This morning I was thinking maybe I can start soon by just using this to write about my job, because it takes up much of my time and thoughts, and I haven’t even explained my job well to my family!

But for now, two updates. One, my dear grandpa Curt Regehr passed away a little over a week ago, and my week has been spent in mourning for him, and unfortunately while being sick, which made it an amplified emotional week for me. Grandpa left a legacy that I am blessed to know.

Second, today is the one year anniversary of Tyler asking me to marry him. What a glorious day for the both of us. Even then I didn’t know the depth of his character and the amount of integrity he has. I am a woman who has been given way more than she deserves, that’s for sure. One year ago he sent me flowers, picked me up with a dress he had bought, and took me on a walk in the forest where he had placed cards along our walkway, telling me why he wanted to marry me. When we got to the end of our path, it overlooked a river, and he had broken up twigs to ask me to be his wife. He did good.

“Paaaast the point of no return……no going back now!” (A “Phantom of the Opera” throw back for you.)

I took this with my cell phone, and it makes me laugh.

I’m sorry for the lack of writings lately. I am learning so much, but my thoughts have yet to make it onto the screen yet. God is continually revealing to me the depth of my own heart, and how turned away I am from His Kingdom. I see more and more how I love myself above all else, and that I am most interested in keeping “my kingdom” together and growing than counting my life as nothing for the sake of His. It is a deep and fruitful lesson when He teaches us how desperately we need Him, and I can only be thankful that He continues to open my eyes to what has been there all along, but only so much at a time so as I don’t despair. He is so loving and beyond what I can know.

I continue to be astounded that Jesus runs after me relentlessly as if to say, “I don’t CARE that you turned from me again, that you hurt me, and that you failed once again, I love you and you are my TREASURE. I will not withhold love from you to prove a point, nor make a name for myself at the sake of yours, but I will give up myself just to bring you love and freedom.” This kind of love is the type of love that restores and redeems my heart, it is a pure and selfless love, and as I see it contrasted with my own heart, my love for Jesus reaches new depths.

My boss and friend passed this on to me last week as I grappled with loneliness, a reflection on Lent from Nouwen:

I have slowly become aware of what my Lenten practice might be. It might be the development of some type of ‘holy indifference’ toward the many small rejections I am subject to, and a growing attachment to the Lord and his passion. I am constantly surprised at how hard it is for me to deal with the little rejections people inflict on each other day by day…This atmosphere often leaves me with a feeling of being rejected and left alone. When I swallow these rejections, I get quickly depressed and lonely; and then I am in danger of becoming resentful…

But maybe all of this is the other side of a deep mystery, the mystery that we have no lasting dwelling place on this earth and that only God loves us the way we desire to be loved. Maybe all these small rejections are reminders that I am a traveler on the way to a sacred place where God holds me in the palm of his hand.” (Nouwen, Gracias!)

Yesterday I needed a mental break from reading Compassion: A Reflection on the Christian Life by Henri Nouwen, and so I dug into my old files to sort through pictures.

I found some that my dad took the day after our wedding, Sunday July 29th, when we had our families over to watch us open our plethora of presents. It was so much fun to get so many great gifts!

Anyway, I quickly located my favorites in the batch, the succession showing Tyler gradually tying a bow on his head, and my reaction thereafter.

I thought you might get a chuckle as well.

Here we are, opening gifts as normal newlyweds would do.

Looks like I’m slapping him, as normal newlyweds would do.

And…………….Tyler finds something!

And suddenly Tyler’s ability to sit and be still has ended.

And, thus Tyler begins to tie his bow.

I am still working the room and opening gifts.

Still opening gifts…

And suddenly I notice that my husband has tied a bow on his head.

My expression says it all…I make this face a lot nowadays. And I love it!